Heavenly Mother, Are You Really There?

I can’t remember when exactly I learned that I had a Heavenly Mother, but ever since I was a little kid I remember just knowing I did. That’s not a surprise given the history of the Mormon Church and Heavenly Mother. In early church history Eliza R Snow wrote in a hymn, “Truth is Reason/Truth Eternal/Tells me I’ve a Mother There”. Now while this isn’t enough to be classified as doctrine, the story continues, as Joseph doesn’t correct Snow but rather confirm it and expounds on it, securing in LDS canon that we do have a Mother in Heaven.

Since that time Heavenly Mother has become sort of a doctrinal folklore in LDS culture. We are always taught that She is there, but we don’t talk about her much, if at all We are taught that we don’t talk about Her because in order to keep her name sacred. That idea led me to not think about my Heavenly Mother for many years and even cringe while on my mission when someone would bring Her up during a discussion with an investigator. I felt as if She was brought up that I would have to spend hours discussing Her and that it would scare potential investigators off.

Since what can be called my “feminist awakening” I’ve learned a lot about Heavenly Mother. I’ve realized that it’s okay to talk about Her in the same reverence as we do our Heavenly Father. I’ve learned that women are not created in His image, but rather in Her image. I’ve felt the power behind that knowledge.

The Hebrew word for God, Elohim, sheds a lot of light on our Heavenly Mother. Quite often we refer to this as the name of our Heavenly Father and the rest of the Godhead, but I think it is more expansive that even that. The word Elohim is a plural noun. In the strictest Hebrew meaning it represents duality and completeness. No other duality is more complete than that of Man and Woman. This, it can be argued that Elohim is not the Godhead, but rather our Heavenly Parents. They complement each other perfectly.

For me, I see Heavenly Mother as the ultimate feminist. She is the not only a perfect woman, but a perfect person with endless knowledge and power. She shares the same traits as our Heavenly Father in that she is also omnipotent and omniscient. She understands Her divine place in a way that we cannot because we just don’t know enough about her. She both embraces her femininity while ruling and creating side by side with our Heavenly Father.

We talk often about the idea that as Adam was God once was and as God is Man may become. We honestly get a lot of flack about it in the Church (I mean Church as in a general system of religiosity, not in a LDS centric sense). Doesn’t it make sense, that if women are to become Divine and become part of the Great Duality that they will somehow receive a perfect match to the priesthood?

Many people would argue that they already have the perfect match to the priesthood in the form of motherhood. However, there are holes in that theory. In a very real sense it seems to me that the perfect counter to motherhood is actually fatherhood. I know that mothers have a much more involved process in the birthing process, but it still begs the question, if priesthood and are true complements, of why motherhood can happen without an earthly ordination while priesthood requires ordination to become valid.

We talk about foreordination to the priesthood, but this still requires an earthly action to make that priesthood official. Then why not for motherhood?

Because the earthly action that causes motherhood also causes fatherhood.

Motherhood and Fatherhood are the real complements here. Not motherhood and priesthood.

Because the way that I see if is there are two ways to look at the priesthood. First you can look at it as the governing power of the church. No person, male or female, can hold lead a ward, stake, or the church as a whole without holding the priesthood first. Sure, there are Relief Society, Young Women’s, or Primary precedencies, but the leadership handbook states that they are to report to the Bishop about their activities.

The other way to look at the priesthood is a little more abstract: “the power of God unto the sanctification of man (and woman)”. The priesthood power gives men the ability to heal the sick, the lame to walk, to perform ordinances associated with our salvation and a host of other blessings related to the power of Deity.

This is where it all comes together for me. If we really believe that we have a Mother in Heaven and we believe that She rules with our Heavenly Father with omnipotence and omniscience then the Priesthood power at least in part, comes directly from Her as well.

Then, if it does come from Her as well, why can Priesthood power not be extended to the wonderful women in the Church?

I’m not sure, but I do know that “[they] will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God” (Article of Faith 9).

And that makes me excited.

Related articles

• the talk I would have given


• Guest Post: Priesthood and Gender – Working Toward a More Godlike Understanding


• In search of Mother God: The Feminine Monomyth, Part 1

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Depression and the Gospel

Today I taught a Sunday School lesson on Joseph Smith’s experiences in the Liberty Jail. He spent almost five months in an approximately 5’6″ tall room (he was 6′ tall) with 6 other men in the middle of a harsh Missouri winter. While there he proclaimed,

O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?

Given the circumstances of his time in Liberty Jail and the despair that he expresses in letters and even in scripture I realized that I could make a legitimate claim that Joseph had either mild depression or seasonal affective disorder. While I hesitate in providing an armchair diagnosis to someone who has been dead for nearly 200 years, this idea felt right to me. Who wouldn’t suffer from a chemical imbalance when he or she was locked in a small room, unable to stand up straight with no bedding, little food, and exposure to the harsh Missouri winter?

I know I would.

Perhaps that’s because while I was on my mission I was diagnosed with clinical depression triggered by stress and anxiety. I remember thinking, like Joseph, “O God, where are you? Why did you abandon me am I not doing enough? What is wrong with me?”

I couldn’t work for weeks and when I did I do something I half assed it. I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I had no energy. I spent 2 months like that. Then I got transferred and things got a bit better, but it was hard the rest of my mission. Even now I have my days and weeks.

My experience is not unique. I know that thousands of missionaries and members of the church feel the exact same way.

Former President of the Church George Albert Smith has become a wonderful example of someone who suffered from severe anxiety and depression. It was so bad that between 1909 and 1912 he would not give any public addresses or travel because his “nervous condition” was so severe (Woodger 113).

I don’t entirely know why depression has gained such a stigma in modern culture, especially in the church. I’ve had first hand experience with people telling me that if I would only pray harder or study the scriptures that my depression would go away.

It doesn’t work that way.

You can’t wish depression away. It takes work and support and counseling and treatment.

God has provided resources that give hope to the hopeless. Why would we not use them?

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God has provided resources that give hope to the hopeless. Why would we not use them? #depression

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In my experience there are many well intended people who do a lot of harm to those with depression. They tell people to cheer up and they tell people that they have the power to conquer their depression. To those people I offer a few concrete suggestions on what to do or say to help people with depression.

• Listen – Don’t try to fix their situation, just listen. They need to know that someone is listening and not judging them.


• Let them know that they’re not a burden – Most victims of depression feel like they’re life is a trial for everyone else. They have horrible feelings of inadequacies that are crippling. Provide them with sincere, specific examples of what they do that helps you.


• Don’t lie – Usually people can tell that you’re lying. It always made me feel even worse when I could tell that people were just making stuff up to try to make me feel better.


• Assume they’re already doing everything they can – Some well intended people have offered me suggestions about what I can do to help with my depression. These people are well intended, but if I have the courage to confide about my depression with you then I have already come a long way. Recognize that.


• Don’t push too much – If a friend confides in you and says that they’re not ready to see a counselor then don’t push them too much. In my experience the more someone pushed me to do something that I wasn’t ready for the more I resisted. If you really want to help, then help them take steps when they are ready.


• Be a friend – Let them know that they’re loved, but not in a “sad smile” sort of way. Don’t feel sorry for them, but really care about them. Listen to promptings to text or email them just to say that you’re thinking of them. Trust your gut.


• Don’t judge them – Watch what you say about depression around people. You don’t want to spread stereotypes that will be damaging to someone’s future treatment.

Depression is a serious issue that hurts thousands of people. We live in a society that has serious issues with accepting depression. Please me more conscious about the way that you talk about depression around everyone. You never know who will have a period of their life where he or she needs counseling and treatment.

While my list is a good start, it is far from complete.

What are some ways that you suggest that people can give support to people with depression?

Related articles

• When Someone You Care About is Depressed (zelophehadsdaughters.com)


• Depression Part Two (hyperboleandahalf.com)


• The Critic on Your Shoulder (ldsmag.com)

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The Natural Man

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever.

There has been a lot of debate about modesty sparked by a presentation made by former actress turned swimsuit designer, Jessica Rey. The purpose of this article is not to address the logical fallacies or my issues with the presentation, but rather to discuss one of the major arguments supporting Rey’s speech.

“I guarantee any man will look at a woman in very little attire and will have something sexual come. That is only natural.”

“Bikinis cause natural reactions men and women have and that I do not want to elicit in anybody except for my husband.”

“Men are naturally inclined to be more sexual than women. So as women we need to support men and not cause temptation to them.”

All of these comments were made on a variety of rebuttals to Rey’s comments. As far as I can tell, these comments were also made by members of the LDS church. That is what makes me the most sad about them. They all seem to dismiss an ejaculatory response of a man as something that cannot be stopped because it is “natural”.

That word natural is a unique word. It implies that something can come easy to us (She’s a natural at the piano) or that something is pure (This cleaner is all natural) or even that something is original (This animal is in its natural habitat). Put all of the definitions together and natural is something that can be pure and that originates from a good place.

Deadly Nightshade

However, not everything that is natural is wholesome. Deadly Nightshade is a naturally poisonous berry. Just a few of these purple berry will be enough to kill even a large man. After much processing and artificial manipulation of this berry the basic nature changes into something different. Doctors and scientists extract the active ingredient in the berry, Atropine, and use it to create a medicine that is common in eye treatments. This process is the same for many herbs, Castor Beans, Wolfsbane, Digitalis, and a host of other posions.

The same is true for any negative natural inclinations for humans.

Lust is one of the 7 Deadly Sins and the majority of the population would agree that it is something we should avoid. It is a poison in our souls. Just like any poison it needs to be removed.

That’s why the argument that women are responsible to dressed modestly because men are naturally inclined to impure thoughts when around women who have different modesty standards is surprising to me. It dismisses the idea that the “natural man is an enemy to God”.

Are we not to overcome our nature state in order to be healed?

Related articles

• Women are the root of all evil (feministmormonhousewives.org)


• addressing “the evolution of the swimsuit” (youngmormonfeminists.org)


• Whoso Looketh Upon a Womam (http://toeveryonethatbelieveth.blogspot.com)

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Perks of Being a Wallflower: Go see it.

Women are under constant criticism for being too sexual. They’re called sluts or whores if their skirt is “too short” (who decides that I don’t know). However, if they are not sexual enough they’re called prudes or uptight.

There is no winning; it is an impossible standard.

Recently, however, The Perks of Being a Wallflower has presented readers and audiences with an alternative to the dichotomy to that of whore and holy.

I have never seen a movie that handles sexuality and gender so perfectly. I don’t want to give too much away, but if you haven’t already seen it, see it tonight! You will not regret it.

Sam (played by Emma Watson) is a senior in high school who garnered a reputation at her school because she was sexually abused. During her freshman year, older boys passed her around, raping her while she was drunk at parties. She became known as the school slut for it.

Her reputation led to more boys taking advantage of her, which reinforced her reputation. This cycle almost destroyed her.

But then her life turns around when her friends help her realize, “We accept the love we think we deserve.”

After a long, hard year, Sam realizes that she is worth more than what the men in her past told her she was worth. She breaks the patterns that she felt she was rooted in and discovers “[she is] infinite”.

Perks of Being a Wallflower is neither condemning nor shaming. As soon as the movie was finished I wanted to watch it again because I felt empowered to combat the negative extremes presented in most films. If you have not seen this movie, seriously watch it. Wallflower deals with sexuality in a way that doesn’t judge anyone while still promoting healthy sexual relationships.

Related articles

• Film Review: The Perks of Being a Wallflower (thomasjamesmitchell.com)


• Abuse and Sexuality in The Perks of Being A Wallflower (misplacedfaerie.wordpress.com)


• understanding and taking action to help victims of sexual violence (youngmormonfeminists.org)

via experimental criticism http://www.experimentalcriticism.com/2013/05/21/perks-of-being-a-wallflower/

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

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Facebook’s Backwards Reporting Policy

I love Facebook. I absolutely love Facebook. It’s wonderful in every way. I don’t mind that they upgrade the service every week or that people can get annoying on there. This week, however, I came across a policy of Facebook … Continue reading →



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I am a Mormon Feminist

Sometimes it can feel like I am one of the only Mormon feminists that I know (with the exception of my wonderful wife). It can get me down to have people argue about everything I share on my blog or … Continue reading →



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Why does it matter who prayed?

Last Saturday Jean A. Stevens said the benediction at the world wide, LDS General Conference. This came after thousands of letters were sent to high ranking LDS officials pleading that they allow a woman to pray. This act was followed … Continue reading →



via experimentalcriticism http://experimentalcriticism.com/2013/04/11/why-does-it-matter-who-prayed/

Thank you for listening

Last weekend was a wonderful and historic LDS General Conference. Not only did we see the first woman to ever pray in conference we saw the second woman to ever pray in conference. It’s been sad to see as critics … Continue reading →



via experimentalcriticism http://experimentalcriticism.com/2013/04/10/thank-you-for-listening/

Well, what were you wearing?

Earlier this week, I wrote about the connection between rape culture and modesty culture. I heard on a few fronts that people didn’t know what modesty culture was (and a few on what rape culture as well). Even after explaining … Continue reading →



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Rape Culture and Modesty Culture

Can I just start by saying that all the drama with Steubenville High School and rape just makes me sad. I don’t understand how anyone can say that a woman who is forcibly raped is at fault. Do they not … Continue reading →



via experimentalcriticism http://experimentalcriticism.com/2013/03/20/rape-culture-and-modesty-culture/

Dog Poop

I've been sitting on this post for a few months. I hope that everything comes across the way it's meant to be. Please let me know what you think.

One day a Sunday school teacher walked into class carrying a big plate of brownies. The teenagers in the class pounce on them like a pack of rabid hyenas. They start devouring them right after the opening prayer and the teacher sits back and smiles.

"I've got a secret." she says coyly," There is a special ingredient in those brownies." Her students look up interested.

"Dog poop."

Gasp.

"That's right, dog poop."

Immediately each student turns a pale green and gags at the thought. Normally the lesson then continues discussing how media consumption needs to be watched and monitored and if there are any "bad parts", or dog poop, then it should be avoided all together.

This lesson always made me cringe just a bit. I love movies. Media have inspired me to be a better person, to help out those in need. It may sound cliché, but it changed my life. The problem is the films and television shows that promoted the most change were ones that contained what many would consider "dog poop". Were these changes really for the better? Or was I being deceived by the amount of "feces" I had consumed?

I wrestled with this idea for quite a while and one day I realized the flaw in this metaphor.

Brownies are not good for you.

If our diet consisted of solely brownies then we would die from obesity and malnutrition. We could not survive. I realized that what many well-intended Sunday school teachers were talking about was filling our lives with harmless media. Media clear of any bad language, violence, sex, or anything at all that might harm an individual in any way. While these movies are often funny and decent media, the often lack what I refer to as "nutritional value". They are the media equivalent to marshmallow fluff, mostly air and a bit of sugar to help it go down. However, doesn't For the Strength of Youth pamphlet say that we are to "select only media that uplifts you"? Is marshmallow fluff really that uplifting?

Nutrient dense films are often like eating a plate full of sprouts or a bowl full of spinach. They might not taste very good. You also might not enjoy it. However, they're also really good for you. Also, like most vegetables, once you eat them enough you actually will grow to like them. They will become delicious and delightful to your mind. They will uplift and inspire you to do difficult things and to change your life. Nutrient dense media will also challenge you in ways that you would not be challenged with harmless media. That is because often times they contain a bit of dirt or "dog poop" as well.

Remember when we were kids and we would load up pie tins with mud? Did you ever try a bite just to see what it would taste like? I did. Then again, I wasn't the brightest kid in the universe. The funny thing about that is I lived. Even with the dirt and poop and all sorts of bacteria that were squirming around in the mud, I still lived. And you know what? It wasn't that bad. Would I try it again? Never. But would I say that it harmed me? Never. A little bit of poop is far less harmful than a diet filled with brownies, no matter how good those brownies might be.

Media that have a high nutritional value are a rare find. It has been my experience that they also challenge audiences by depicting violence, crime, extramarital sex, or even sex in general. However, there is one key feature that cannot be ignored. Nutrient dense media rarely, if ever, condone the illicit behavior. They illuminate the consequences for the negative behavior. They show the loneliness and pain that follows it. They show the reality behind the sin. Is this bad for our families?

One of my favorite stories in the Book of Mormon is the story of Korihor. He is one bad guy. So why does Mormon, with his limited space and resources, chose to quote Korihor? Mormon intentionally puts false teachings into the Book of Mormon rather than keep the book completely free of anything harmful. He does the same thing earlier when Alma and Amulek watch as the believers are cast into a pit of fire. Or later when the Nephites sacrifice virgins to their idolatrous gods. This pattern continues throughout The Book of Mormon and all of the scriptures. Why does God want us to continually read graphic depictions of wickedness, which if seen in a movie would warrant the movie full of dog poop?

God never intended the scriptures, gospel, or our lives to be marshmallow fluff. He wants us to wrestle with ideas or concepts that make us queasy. He wants us to understand sin, while not experiencing it. He wants us to know the pain that sin and wickedness cause. By showing us these illustrations via proxy in the scriptures he hopes that we will learn from others experiences. Is it too difficult to believe that there are those in the media who want us to learn the real consequences of bad behavior without experiencing it first hand?

Filling our lives with brownies and fluff and media with low nutritional value will only cause us to become fat, lethargic and slothful servants.  This is not to say that any depiction of violence, sexuality, and foul language is appropriate for everyone. We are to seek for "anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy". However, just like sprouts and vegetables that do not taste good in the interim, but provide our bodies with essential nutrients for our growth, media that causes us to wrestle with ideas and beliefs will lead to growth, development, and a greater understanding of our place in God's plan.

A Musical Education

Whenever we hang out with friends who we haven't seen in a while, we usually have to have 'the music talk'. This involves going through new albums or artists we have discovered since last talking. Many times, we end up in an iTunes or occasionally youtube showdown, back and forth showing new songs and videos. Today we got to educate my cousin on some great local groups: Katie Dellenbach, Mudbison (Spencer Russell) and The Archer's Apple. (Conveniently, all three of those played at a concert that was our second date.)

Miss Representation

In class we watched a documentary about the representation of women in the media. This is one of my favorite topics to discuss, so I was thrilled to have more insight on the issue. I thought it was really interesting how they focused so heavily on the issue of women in politics. It isn't something that I have ever thought much about, because I know several women who are involved in politics on a city or state level and they don't seem to be all that abnormal. It gave an interesting perspective on the grand scheme of women in politics. Now all I need is for David to see it, so we can talk about it even more!

Suture

Have you ever been watching a movie/reading a book/listening to music and the content completely absorbs you so much that you don't realize time has passed and you forget the room around you? For me, this is a sign of a good movie/book/music. Film theorist Daniel Dayan created the idea of suture, where the audience is pulled and 'stitched in' to the story or experience. I would argue that this happens in areas aside from film, such as music. This weekend I had the opportunity to hear one of my good friends perform a concert at a local venue. We go listen to him play somewhat regularly and I always enjoy the chance to hear other experience and find more music that I like. There have been multiple occasions when I am watching the concert and find myself completely absorbed in the music, the rest of the world doesn't exist and I am just in awe of what is happening in front of me. I love it!

When have you found yourself sutured into the media you are experiencing? Do you like giving that much control to another person?

Spam and Hackers

I do not understand why some people feel that it is necessary to flood the internet with garbage. It does them no good to spam/hack someone, and it just makes everyone else. I am trying to understand the mentality of someone who creates a virus and releases it on a relatively innocent site, such as Pinterest. I do not see what their gain is in trying to get everyone else frustrated.

What do you think? Why do people do this?

What I'm Reading

My husband and I have recently discovered how awesome it is to be able to check out books for our Kindle app on our iPhones. My biggest complaint with eReaders is that you have to buy these books that you may never read again. (thats also my problem with bookstores in general. You pay a lot for a book you may not even like.) But with the digital library, we can check books out for 3 weeks, have them on our phones, and read whenever we like.
I read all three of the His Dark Materials (the golden compass books) this month on my phone. We went to the library to get more stuff to read and I ended up getting:
Mennonite in a Little Black Dress
Food and the City
Revolution at the Table
How to Eat a Small Country
Ruby in the Smoke
Time Traveler's Wife
I stayed away from getting mostly novels because of school. I can't get absorbed into a book and stay on top of homework. I am really excited to read the food books though, that is a topic that always fascinates me.

Music and the Spoken Word

Today I had the chance to go up to Temple Square to see Music and the Spoken Word, which is the longest running broadcast in the United States. Today was their 4,312th broadcast. The music was wonderful, as was the message. I love that through the media this message can get around the country so easily. While many people in the church are hard on the media, I think that they just forget that with all the bad also comes a lot of good.

Do you think the media is inherently good, bad or both? Why is that?

Blogging

It is so interesting to sit and listen to a discussion on a topic that you know a lot about and have a lot of experience when people who don't have that experience are the ones discussing. In class, we talked about blogging and why people blog. I thought it was really interesting that nobody in class mentioned the community that a lot of bloggers feel that they are a part of. Through this community, the bloggers get sympathy, advice, and all around good friendships that can extend beyond the internet. Part of me wishes that I could have a (moderately) well known blog so I could be part of one of these communities. As an avid blog reader and infrequent commenter, I feel sometimes feel like a sneak watching these friendships from the outside, knowing fully that I could join in the conversation at any point, but being too afraid to say something dumb. Ah, it seems silly now...

Music and Identity

I think that the media helps to shape our individual and group identities. Certain groups have music that helps them create their traditions. Personal music tastes help to describe what the individual is like. I think that the music we listen to shapes who we are, but we also are not passive beings, left to be shaped by our surroundings. We actively decide what music we listen to, and thusly like. I don't know that the individual groups that I like to listen to sets me into any particular category, though I do know that some music that I dislike eliminates me from certain categories.
What do your musical tastes say about you?